I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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