Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
