What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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