The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
