You're earring is so big in my mouth
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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