I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
