every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
