I love black thongs
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
