U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
