Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just pee around me
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
