I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize