he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
