he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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