rhymes with "ouble enetration"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
