How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
