she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.