i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome