Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman

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  (440): I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman http://tfl.nu/jmt9
  Replies (6) Good night (2350) Bad night (1494)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting

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  (847): I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting http://tfl.nu/4np3
  Replies (1) Good night (1032) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.

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  (617): living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST. http://tfl.nu/nhyx
  Replies (20) Good night (3855) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve

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  (313): tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve http://tfl.nu/02r5
  Replies (12) Good night (3881) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again

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  (415): i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again http://tfl.nu/roxu
  Replies (5) Good night (2805) Bad night (1489)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.

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  (309): He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways. http://tfl.nu/72i4
  Replies (10) Good night (1172) Bad night (2540)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?

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  (210): Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting? http://tfl.nu/he3z
  Replies (6) Good night (1227) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.

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  (914): He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck. http://tfl.nu/kvtv
  Replies (10) Good night (2654) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.

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  (360): We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat. http://tfl.nu/nbay
  Replies (8) Good night (657) Bad night (1574)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated

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  (973): You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated http://tfl.nu/yaej
  Replies (6) Good night (1207) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?

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  (215): who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game? http://tfl.nu/6oz2
  Replies (5) Good night (555) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica

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  (740): The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica http://tfl.nu/yubm
  Replies (4) Good night (1242) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  We're not piercing ourselves today.

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  (405): We're not piercing ourselves today. http://tfl.nu/89v4
  Replies (3) Good night (505) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed

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  (402): woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed http://tfl.nu/vpuo
  Replies (0) Good night (464) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"

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  (512): We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise" http://tfl.nu/pusn
  Replies (2) Good night (757) Bad night (284)

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