I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
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She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
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Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?