Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I need a shot of tequila, and quick death

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  (586): I need a shot of tequila, and quick death http://tfl.nu/qciv
  Replies (5) Good night (631) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, you need to talk to your mom

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  wtf?

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you

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  (412): Dude, you need to talk to your mom (724): wtf? (412): She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you http://tfl.nu/71sh
  Replies (32) Good night (729) Bad night (4603)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"

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  (570): my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth" http://tfl.nu/khrw
  Replies (19) Good night (3400) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.

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  (218): time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink. http://tfl.nu/47ui
  Replies (15) Good night (4120) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT

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  (314): WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT http://tfl.nu/lhuy
  Replies (3) Good night (2347) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.

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  (954): it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/y5mn
  Replies (7) Good night (4298) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel

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  (412): i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel http://tfl.nu/p08s
  Replies (3) Good night (964) Bad night (1703)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.

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  (619): I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes. http://tfl.nu/rji6
  Replies (9) Good night (1429) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.

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  (512): Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise. http://tfl.nu/frpb
  Replies (3) Good night (1133) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE

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  (563): Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE http://tfl.nu/qgoo
  Replies (6) Good night (1618) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music

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  (787): They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music http://tfl.nu/mg50
  Replies (9) Good night (1275) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.

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  (631): After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly. http://tfl.nu/xlkc
  Replies (4) Good night (228) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.

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  (941): Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked. http://tfl.nu/l2tu
  Replies (1) Good night (166) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  That's going to be the title of my memoir.

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  (856): Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina. (240): That's going to be the title of my memoir. http://tfl.nu/3hns
  Replies (3) Good night (993) Bad night (194)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.

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  (985): Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods. http://tfl.nu/ey1m
  Replies (4) Good night (835) Bad night (218)

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