Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
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I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
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My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.