even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
