She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
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