my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she told me i tasted like america
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
