God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
