Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
