Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
