I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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