Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
