You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
