Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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