I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
