That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
sex in a hospital.. check
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
