the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
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the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
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In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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