from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
