dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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