I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I think i peed on brittanys purse
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
