When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
My brain says no but my pants say off.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
