with your own penis?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize