you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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