I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
