yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Randomize
