So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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