Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
