My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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