kristin has been a bad kristin
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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