haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
