Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize