so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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