I must be too annoying 4 u.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
