My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
