i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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