he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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