is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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