well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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