Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
