she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize