hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
