We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
