what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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