i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
