Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
