I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
