Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
