i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
