that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I need a hoe opinion
go on
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
