That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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